


The chair.

by ojos_abiertos



Category: Naruto
Genre: Break Up, Canon Compliant, Feelings, Getting Back Together, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ojos_abiertos/pseuds/ojos_abiertos
Summary: Iruka was tired. Of sitting on the chair and watching Kakashi sleep, not knowing when or if he would wake up. Maybe their timing was wrong. Maybe love wasn't enough.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 19
Kudos: 147





	1. Part One

“Good morning,” Kakashi murmured. Although Iruka’s eyes were still closed, Kakashi knew he was awake when the brown haired man laying besides him smiled. He smiled too and brought a hand to caress his boyfriend’s cheek.

Iruka let out a low grunt in response. “Fuck no, cold,” he complained and rolled over to get rid of the freezing hand on his face. 

It was a lazy Saturday morning, a few rays of sunshine tried to enter the room through the window curtains, the bed was warm and cozy and Iruka’s body felt lax and heavy from a good night of sleep. Iruka wasn’t a lazy man by all means, but mornings like these made him want to be in bed all day.

The silver haired let out a small laugh and curled up against Iruka’s back, bringing him into an unwanted embrace from behind. If Kakashi’s hand was cold, his feet were little icebergs but Iruka only grunted, not even trying to push him away. After all, _‘an unwanted embrace’_ would always be an incorrect statement, Iruka would be glad to have Kakashi’s skin against his any time.

“Well, that’s what you get when you hoard all the comforters,” Kakashi said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep. Not an incorrect statement either.

Iruka smirked and pushed his ass back, wiggling it against Kakashi’s pelvis. “I have an idea that may warm you up,” he mumbled, the words struggling to get out of his mouth since he was still half asleep, but his intentions clear as water.

Kakashi’s cock twitched with interest under his gray sweatpants. “I would definitely love that,” he replied as he kissed Iruka’s neck, who tilted his head back so he could kiss his boyfriend on the mouth.

Their lips found each other on a lazy, sweet kiss and their tongues slipped over each other in a way that mimicked the morning, slow and warm. Iruka pressed himself ever harder against Kakashi and began rubbing his body against his boyfriend’s, making the older man let out a groan into the kiss. Iruka took advantage of the moment to bite Kakashi’s bottom lip gently and the silver haired kissed him harder in response after he bit back his smile.

A hand, still a little cold, traveled down Iruka’s bare torso stroking his skin lightly. When Iruka stopped shivering under him, Kakashi knew he wasn’t as cold anymore and let his hand go farther down to cup Iruka’s member in it under the boxer briefs he was wearing. A moan escaped the brown haired man’s mouth and it sounded like music in Kakashi’s ears.

A few kisses after, Kakashi removed Iruka’s boxers. A few kisses more, Iruka was shivering again, but not from the cold. “Lube,” he uttered.

“On your side,” Kakashi replied. Iruka stretched a little to grab the bottle on his nightstand, and Kakashi seized the moment to take his sweatpants off, the only piece of clothing he was wearing, without letting Iruka totally slip away from his embrace.

Iruka handed the bottle to Kakashi, who poured some of its content on his hand, and laid on the bed the same way as before, giving his back to Kakashi since the latter one hadn’t completely let him go. Kakashi kissed Iruka as his fingers brushed against the tanned man’s entrance and gently slipped a finger inside. Iruka broke the kiss with a quiet moan, so Kakashi settled on kissing and nibbling his neck instead.

Since Iruka was still a bit loose from the night before, a second finger was swiftly added to his index and Kakashi began scissoring them so a third one could join to pleasure Iruka even more. And call the brown haired dammed, because he loved those long, clever fingers that knew exactly what to do. He loved that they belonged to Kakashi, who was also clever and knew exactly what to do to show him what he wanted to say when words failed him.

“Fuck me, Kakashi,” Iruka panted, not able to wait anymore. Kakashi kissed him deeply and slowly in response, letting his fingers swirl inside Iruka the same way his tongue was. There was something delightful on the moment, Kakashi could stay there forever, tasting and teasing Iruka as the man moaned under him.

“ _Kakashi_ ,” Iruka hissed and that time, Kakashi obliged, pulling his fingers away and coating his own cock with lube.

Once he was inside Iruka, Kakashi set a slow, tender pace, letting them both savor the moment. And then, Kakashi moved a little, angling his hips in a way that made Iruka curse and roll his eyes as he brought his hand to his mouth to muffle the noises that his boyfriend was forcing out of him.

Kakashi removed Iruka’s hand from his mouth and pinned it on the bed. “Don’t muffle those moans. They are mine, I want to hear them,” he whispered against Iruka’s ear.

That plead alone spoken in Kakashi’s deep voice could single handedly make Iruka come. But he held it, and moaned instead. Not only to please Kakashi, but because the man knew what he was doing.

Most times, sex was rather fast and rough as they let lust consume them so they could explode together in satisfaction. But sometimes, it felt like this. The world seemed smaller, reduced to them both as if Iruka and Kakashis’ skin against each other was everything that mattered, everything that existed.

And the only thing Iruka could focus on was the warmth that came from Kakashi’s hand holding his. On how Kakashi touched him. On how much he loved Kakashi. On how Kakashi’s love felt. And it was intoxicating. In his mind, nothing else mattered but that moment. They could stay like that forever, sharing warmth and a bond that no one could ever put into words.

Even though the lust was evident and was there with no doubt, it wasn’t really about the sex itself. It was much more than that; every move, touch, feeling, moan felt like… more. It felt like love. As cheesy and boring as it sounded, there was no better way to explain it.

Oh, but it wasn’t boring at all. It was what filled the air between them. It was what would make them remember that morning forever. It was what kept them together despite it all.

Kakashi must’ve been thinking the same thing as Iruka because he let go of his hand to hold his head to kiss him deeply. Iruka returned the kiss with fervor as he lowered his hand to touch himself. It didn’t take long to get to the point where they were panting so hard they had to regrettably break the kiss. And soon enough, they both experienced a familiar fire pooling low in their abdomen before they dissolved into pleasure almost at the same time.

Panting filled the room as their heart rhythms tried to steady themselves. Kakashi pulled out slowly and propped himself on an elbow as he watched Iruka lay on his back with a content smile curling his lips. They kissed lazily and Kakashi moved on top of Iruka to lay over him with his head on the tanned skin of Iruka’s chest.

“I love you,” Kakashi murmured.

“I love _you_ ,” Iruka replied as sincerely while his fingers traced figures on his boyfriends back.

And that’s how they stay for a while, although time didn’t feel like a real thing anymore, not after the intensity of emotions they both had just felt. All that mattered was that they were there, together, enjoying the afterglow of a perfect moment with their lax limbs tangled.

But time was a real thing after all, and maybe Kakashi didn’t care but Iruka certainly did. “Hey, you should take a shower or you’ll be late,” Iruka reminded him.

“Mhm, don’t wanna move,” Kakashi complained.

“Come on, you smell like sex,” the brown haired laughed but didn’t stop stroking Kakashi’s back.

The paler man lifted his head to make eye contact and raised his eyebrows. “Maa, as if you didn’t like it,” he smiled.

Iruka let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, I do, but I don’t think your teammates would appreciate it as much.” Kakashi looked away and swallowed, and Iruka immediately knew something was up. “What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just that… um, it’s a solo mission,” Kakashi answered, still not looking at him.

A long sigh escaped Iruka’s mouth before he could stop himself. “Go shower, I’ll change the sheets,” he suggested.

Kakashi got off Iruka but only to look for his sweatpants, that had ended up on the floor, so he could put them on. He saw the fight coming and didn’t really feel like arguing while naked. “Are you going to stay angry?”

“Are you going to say that I can’t be angry?” Iruka replied and went to fetch his boxers. Oh, the fight was here and it felt scripted. It wasn’t a new one, and they both knew what the other was going to say already. It sucked because they always fought about the same thing and couldn’t get over it. And it sucked even more because of the amazing morning they had just shared.

“Yes, you can’t be mad at me because I take solo missions!” Kakashi exclaimed.

Standing on the other side of the bed, Iruka crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows so high it seemed they would fly away. “The fuck I can’t! And you know that’s not what I am angry about!”

“So, you are angry because you think I can’t take care of myself, then,” Kakashi replied, this time more coldly. Iruka could almost feel how he began to lift walls around himself.

“I know that you can take care of yourself, Kakashi,” Iruka sighed, “you are the copy ninja after all.”

Kakashi nodded slowly, a distant look on his visible eye. He didn’t reply, just headed to the master bathroom only to be sopped by Iruka’s voice, who didn’t feel the argument was over.

“You can take care of yourself, so why don’t you?” Iruka accused him. 

The silver haired looked at him, a frown quickly showing up on his face. “I don’t come back injured because I want to, Iruka, if that’s what you are implying.”

Iruka snorted and regretted it almost immediately, knowing it would only escalate the fight. “You land at the hospital every single time, Kakashi, even if you go on missions with a team. I know I am not overestimating you, you can take better care of yourself,” he said.

“Oh, and what do you want me to do? Ask the other shinobi to go easy on me because my boyfriend doesn’t want to see me hurt?” Kakashi asked, his voice filled with poisonous sarcasm. “Just because you forgot how missions-”

“You stop that sentence right there,” Iruka interrupted with a threat hidden somewhere behind his words. Kakashi exhaled and held Iruka’s stern gaze with his stone cold gray eye.

“What do you want me to do, Iruka? I won’t stop going on missions.”

“Go on missions with a fucking team that can watch your back! Not because of me, but because you care about yourself, damn it. Do you even care about your well-being at all?” Iruka exclaimed loudly, throwing his arms up in the air.

Kakashi’s frown got even deeper. “What’s that question supposed to mean?”

Iruka ran his fingers over the horizontal scar that bisected his face and then placed his hands on his waist, looking directly at his boyfriend. Kakashi sighed and stepped closer, going around the bed to stand before Iruka and grab him by the hips, where he rubbed circles with his thumbs.

“I am going to be fine, okay?” Kakashi whispered. “I’ll come back to you, I always do.”

“What rank is it?” the younger man asked, his hands still on his own waist and his look stern.

“Iruka, that’s classified,” Kakashi replied. Iruka shouldn’t really know when he went on missions or the ranks of said missions. He shouldn’t even know Kakashi was ANBU.

“Rank,” he demanded.

“A.”

“Damn it, Kakashi,” Iruka breathed out, almost inaudible. At least it wasn’t a S-rank mission this time, and that was the only thought calming him.

Kakashi took his hands off Iruka and stepped back. “Just for once it would be nice to go on a mission without you fighting me about it first,” he said and turned around to go to the bathroom. But Iruka latched onto his wrist, which stopped him and made him face the brown haired again.

“You are right, I am sorry,” Iruka apologized, “I still wish you’d take missions with a team, but I don’t want you to leave like this.” He cupped Kakashi’s cheek with one hand and stroked it lightly. Kakashi just nodded. “I don’t want to see you hurt, that’s all,” Iruka added.

The silver haired opened his arms as an invitation the chunin gladly accepted, melting in his arms as they closed around him and resting his head under Kakashi’s chin.

“I just want you to come back in one piece," Iruka whispered, "I love you, Kakashi. You know that, right?”

Kakashi ran his fingers through Iruka’s brown locks, free of their usual ponytail. “Yeah, I know that,” he replied quietly. After a few seconds, Kakashi spoke again.

“ _You_ are my well-being, Iruka. Of course I care about you.”

# \---

# 

The light was too bright. Why were the lights always so blinding? This damned hospital should have lights that were less white. Damn, he hated hospitals.

Kakashi finally managed to open his eyes and focus, and noted that a cloth was covering his Sharingan. At least that was a good thing, he certainly didn’t have enough chakra to even open his eye.

Next to his bed, he noticed Iruka sitting on a chair looking at him. He was on his standard uniform and his usual ponytail, although he looked a little disheveled; a few brown strands rebelling against the hairstyle and clothes a little wrinkled. Judging by that and the small dark circles under Iruka’s eyes, Kakashi would say he passed out at least a day and a half.

“Maa, you look tired, love,” Kakashi smiled weakly.

“Not more than you,” Iruka replied.

Right, he probably must’ve looked as bad as he felt. Chakra depletion and a nasty wound on the right side of his abdomen wouldn’t just go away with some sleep.

“I am tired, Kakashi,” Iruka exhaled.

“You should get some sleep,” Kakashi replied, moving aside to make room on the bed, trying to hide pain from his face.

“No, not that kind of tired.”

Kakashi frowned, Iruka’s expression screamed warnings to him. “What happened?”

“This chair. I am tired of it, tired of sitting on it. But, somehow, you keep me tied to it,” Iruka said as if he wasn’t talking in some weird code Kakashi couldn’t understand.

“What are you trying to say?” Kakashi asked, sitting down slowly so his wound wouldn’t reopen.

Iruka let out a long sigh before speaking. Unlike Kakashi, he couldn’t refrain the pain from showing up on his face. “It’s not fair to have me worried about you every time you go on a mission, which is always. It’s not fair to make me sit in this fucking chair and make me look at you in your sleep, wondering if you’ll wake up, knowing I can’t help you.”

Kakashi listened attentively, and stayed silent a few seconds to take in the words. “What are you asking?” he asked. What was he supposed to answer to that? He couldn’t help working.

“Just stop it. Take care of yourself, stop the almost impossible solo missions, fucking… try harder. I am not asking it for yourself anymore, you clearly don’t care. But I am not asking for me either because I am not that selfish,” Iruka replied, his voice clearly hurt but his determination unbreakable. “Stop it for Konoha. They can’t lose Kakashi of the Sharingan because he is stubborn and doesn’t trust himself around a team.”

“Woah, don’t you think you crossed a line there?”

“You should cross the fucking line too or this won’t ever get better,” Iruka said.

Kakashi furrowed his brows slightly. “I can’t stop taking missions unless the Hokage himself pulls me out and you know it, even though you don’t have the clearance to know that. And I don’t want to stop either. But I won’t take missions with a team if I can help it, you clearly know why.”

“You are a shinobi, I would never ask you to stop going on missions. But I can’t do this anymore, Kakashi,” the younger man said quietly.

“Fuck, Iruka,” Kakashi cursed.

“I just… I hate this chair. And I hate that you are the one who makes me sit on it. I can’t watch you slowly destroy yourself anymore, and I can’t help you, that’s something you have to do on your own,” Iruka continued, his voice getting more strained with every word.

“Iruka… No. I can’t do anything without you, I meant what I said before leaving. You are my well-being. You are what keeps me healthy and happy and… going.”

Iruka let out air he didn’t know he was holding as he tried to hold back the tears that were already threatening to come out. “And that’s the main issue, Kakashi. I can’t be that for you, that’s not real happiness. You have to sort some things out and learn to be healthy on your own.”

“Come on, Iruka. Just… _please_ , don’t. I know I have some unsolved issues but I love you and you love me, isn’t that enough?” Kakashi pleaded and it broke Iruka’s heart. And he hated that question. Was love enough? How could he know? How could anyone ever answer that?

“I never loved someone as much as I love you, and right now I’m not sure I ever will, but you have to love yourself too,” Iruka replied and stood up from the chair.

“Iruka…”

“I’ll call Gai, he’ll be happy to see you,” was the last thing Iruka said to Kakashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! This was meant to be a one shot but it ends... yeah, like that. And even though I love break up stories (I know it's weird, don't judge me that hard), I couldn't do that to Kakashi or Iruka, so I wrote another chapter.
> 
> I hope you liked it and to see you next chapter!<3


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this, I rewatched chapters 4, 5, 20 and 21 to get the dialogues right. I saw it in Spanish, and then translated it to English; so, this is Japanese to Spanish to English, therefore it's highly possible that this is not as accurate but all of these conversations (except the last one where Kakashi and Iruka talk about their relationship) actually happened.
> 
>  _Anyways_ , I hope you enjoy it! <3

“Iruka, what did you want to tell me? I don’t believe you came just simply have tea with me and chat, did you?” Hiruzen Saturobi asked with his soft voice.

It was a beautiful morning, the sun shined in the blue sky without a cloud filtering its light and a few birds sang a pleasant song outside. It would be a peaceful day for Iruka, having tea with the Hokage on such a beautiful day, if it weren’t for the concern swirling in his brain. Sarutobi could always see right through him, knowing what he needed even before Iruka himself did.

“Naruto has been assigned to team 7. The jōnin in charge of that team is the most severe coach there is, is that right?” he asked, hesitantly as he had a sip of tea.

“You are talking about Kakashi, are you worried about him?”

Iruka nodded slowly. “I am. I heard rumors about his training methods.” Not good methods, if you asked Iruka, but he never thought about doing something about it until Naruto was assigned to him because of their history.

Hiruzen hummed lightly and put his cup of tea down to grab a green book instead. He looked at it for a second before showing it to Iruka.

“What is this?” the chūnin asked.

“It’s a list of all the pupils that have been assigned to Kakashi, those who passed and those who failed,” the Hokage answered.

“May I?” Iruka requested to see the content of the book. Hiruzen extended his hand further so Iruka could grab it. 

The book wasn’t exceptionally long, but Kakashi had been a jōnin sensei for only four years, if Iruka remembered correctly. Still, for only a few years, what the book showed was… disturbing.

“This… This is…” Iruka tried to articulate. He could see Naruto’s future written in those pages as well, and his worries quickly escalated. “This can’t be possible, it’s even worse than the rumors.”

“Kakashi’s exams are usually a little more difficult than the others,” the Hokage simply answered.

“A little more difficult?” Iruka asked, incredulous. _A little_ was a big understatement. “Not a single student has passed his exam.”

“Right, everyone tried but no one has survived Kakashi’s standards and they have all been eliminated,” was all the Hokage replied, still calm before Iruka’s nervousness. 

The words didn’t calm Iruka down; if anything, they made him even more uncomfortable. “This is incredible, he has failed them all! How…?” Iruka trailed off, not wanting to be inappropriate on the Hokage’s presence. 

He was worried about Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke; he had trained them all and it would be so unfair if Kakashi failed them. But he was almost completely sure Kakashi’s demands would drown them anyways. Iruka didn’t want to be angry at Kakashi, not anymore, but this was simply unacceptable.

“Iruka, this team is young. I still can’t decide if it would be good for them to face the rigors and dangers of the ninja life. Either way, Kakashi was right regarding everyone who has failed,” the Hokage said. 

Iruka’s cup of tea was almost completely empty, so he drank what was left and stood up. “I am leaving,” he announced respectfully, knowing the Hokage wouldn’t address his concerns the way he wanted and finding it hard to conceal his true emotions.

“Iruka, listen to me,” he called, and Iruka stopped by the door and turned to face him. Hiruzen had that look on his eyes, the one that said more than what his words could say, the one that said he knew what Iruka was thinking. “Whether they pass or not, you shouldn’t blame Kakashi,” the Hokage said.

“I understand,” Iruka replied before leaving. 

What he understood was that the Hokage backed Kakashi and whatever his decision was going to be. But he didn’t understand why his most precious student’s life was on his ex’s hands. If Naruto didn’t pass, he wouldn’t be able to forgive Kakashi. But if the Hokage trusted him, maybe Iruka should too.

And he certainly wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. What if he didn’t train them well enough? What if Kakashi was still angry at him because he left him injured in a hospital? Kakashi wouldn’t fail his students because he held a grudge against Iruka, right? But Iruka wasn’t sure anymore, four years was a lot of time and Kakashi must’ve change at least as much as Iruka did.

. 

But Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke did pass the exam and became part of Kakashi’s first team. Everyone was impressed, but not nearly as much as Iruka.

Every time Iruka had dinner with Naruto, the blond would only talk about his missions and the progress he was making. It seemed that life was going really good for him, even though he couldn’t wait to become stronger. Iruka was relieved, and thankful towards to Kakashi; he supervised said progress after all.

The last time he saw his dear student, they had ramen at Ichiraku the night before Naruto went on a mission to the Land of Waves. He had returned a little bit over a month ago but Iruka didn’t got the chance to see him and was a little worried; apparently, it was a hard mission and they had been through a lot, although Iruka didn’t know any details.

He was thinking about that when a familiar figure entered the mission room. Iruka was currently working behind the mission desk, so he was the one who received Kakashi’s report without a word from either of them.

He hadn’t seen Kakashi in a very long time. Everything could change in four years. Everything kind of did. Kakashi wasn’t ANBU anymore, he was a jōnin sensei. Iruka couldn’t have seen that coming even if his life depended on it, but it seemed that the silver haired was doing a good job from what he heard from Naruto.

Four years changed Iruka as well. He was in a relationship with another man named Mizuki for a while, but it was a secret since Mizuki was with a woman. Iruka liked her very much, she was really sweet and good to Mizuki. When Iruka was about to break things up, Mizuki surprised him by breaking up with him first.

' _I can’t be gay or whatever, I have to be with Tsubaki, but I still want to be friends_ ', Mizuki had said when he left him to be with his girlfriend. Iruka remembered hating him for being a coward, but not for not choosing him. After all, while they were together, everything Iruka could think about was Kakashi.

Iruka didn’t exactly know if he was thinking about Kakashi because he wanted to get back together with him or because their relationship meant a lot to him. Their love was as intense as it got, stronger than everything. Well, stronger than most things. Whenever Iruka thought about talking to Kakashi again, he tried to remember the chair. How much it sucked to be sitting in it, how much it hurt to see Kakashi hurt knowing he couldn’t stop it.

He and Mizuki stayed friends for a while, Iruka visited his ex and Tsubaki a bunch of times until he suddenly stopped. A year and a half later, that same man who was supposed to at least be his friend, stabbed his back with a large shuriken.

So yes, four years changed a lot of things. But what never changed was his love for Kakashi, even if he was angry at him, even if he didn’t saw him, even if he thought about the chair. Kakashi and him had a special, rare thing he couldn’t find anywhere else. Seeing the silver haired made something in Iruka move, even after four years.

Iruka looked through the report, trying to decipher the messy handwriting and think about something else, and everything seemed to be in order. “Very good, thank you for the report, Kakashi-sensei,” he said with a polite smile and he thought this was the time to clear his concerns about Naruto. “How is Naruto doing? Is he getting along with the other students?”

“Well… little by little,” Kakashi vaguely answered. He was standing in his usual lazy posture, with a hand on his pocket and his orange book on the other.

“There has been a lot of work around here, I haven’t seen him since he returned from the mission in the Land of Waves. I… I am little worried about him,” Iruka pushed to get a better answer. It was an innocent conversation, not tied to their past at all, surely Kakashi could put him at ease.

Kakashi did look at Iruka then, and Iruka wasn’t ready to feel what he did when he was under that gray eye. “Maa, Sasuke is also in our group. Naruto sees him as a rival and that constantly generates tension in the team… but it also pressures Naruto to improve, so he is making some surprising progress. Someday his skills will be so strong that he could match the person he respects more in the world… you.”

The silver haired man spoke with a lazy tone, but Iruka knew him better, even after so much time. The same warmth Iruka could see in his gray eye filtered through his words. Kakashi still knew what to say and Iruka couldn’t help to blush and gift him a bright smile.

# \---

The room was full of people. Standing on the middle were the jōnin, and circling them were the chūnin, all facing the Hokage, who sat on a high chair so he could see them all.

It was an important moment the one they were going to witness, and Iruka was really excited to be there.

“Well, the time has come to choose our candidate for the chūnin exams,” the Hokage began after clearing his voice to get attention. “To begin, those in charge of the novice genin, step forward… Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma,” Hiruzen said as the three jōnin obliged. 

Once the three of them were up front, the Hokage continued, directing his words solely to them. “What do you think? Is there anyone on your teams that you recommend? Who is ready for the exams despite their inexperience? As you know, any genin who has completed eight or more missions is technically eligible for the exams. Although only you can decide when you are ready. Of course, most genin require a lot of training, more than double the missions.”

Iruka nodded, agreeing to what the Hokage was saying even though there was no need to say it; the nine kids graduated from the Academy less than a year ago, it was way too soon for their teams.

“Kakashi, you begin,” the Hokage announced.

“I am the leader of Team 7, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. I, Hatake Kakashi, recommend the three genin for the chūnin exams,” Kakashi said.

Kurenai quickly followed. “My team is the number 8, Hyūga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. I, Yūhi Kurenai, recommend all three.”

“And my team is number 10, Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chōji. And now I, Sarutobi Asuma, recommend all three,” Asuma ended. 

Murmurs stirred the room, all nine genins were being recommended and it wasn’t a normal occurrence. Iruka’s head was running one hundred miles per hours, this couldn’t be happening.

Before he could stop it, Iruka found himself speaking up. “Hey, wait a minute.”

“Yes? What is it, Iruka?” Hiruzen’s low voice shut the rest of the shinobi up.

“Lord Hokage, with all due respect, the nine names you have just been given were students of mine at the academy, I know their skills and abilities very well. Each one of them is a great promise but it is very soon, they need more experience before being tested. If they do it now, they will surely fail the exam,” Iruka expressed his concerns.

Before the Hokage could reply, Kakashi turned around to face him and spoke instead. “When I became chūnin, I was six years younger than Naruto is today.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Kakashi was a known genius, of course he did everything faster. The chūnin exams were no joke nor a normal exam, they required more training and experience. None of the nine genin got the skill to pass, let alone Naruto, who was still as hot headed as when Iruka first met him.

Iruka’s blood began to slowly boil. “Naruto isn’t like you! Are you trying to destroy him?”

“Well, they are always complaining about challenges not being at their level. Perhaps being included in the exams will teach them a lesson. A little pain is good,” Kakashi replied, his tone of voice bored as ever.

“What? What are you saying?” Iruka was honestly shocked. ‘ _A little pain is good_ ’? Seriously? He sounded the same way he did four years ago, far from the man Iruka had a conversation in the mission room not too long ago.

“Maa, nothing fatal, of course. Really, Iruka, relax,” Kakashi brushed him off, but it only made Iruka’s blood boil even more. “Listen, I understand how you feel, it’s something personal for you and it bothers you but-”

“Stop it, Kakashi, you said enough,” Kurenai interrupted. And she was certainly right, what the hell was Kakashi thinking talking to him like that? 

“On the contrary, Kurenai, Iruka needs to hear this. He needs to realize that they are no longer his students,” Kakashi continued looking at Iruka straight in the eyes. “They are mine.”

Something shifted in the room, tension running through every person standing there as no one dared to interrupt the moment. Iruka took a deep breath, trying to hide most of his anger. Kakashi’s behavior was outrageous and out of line, how dared he? 

“But those exams could destroy them, and you know it,” Iruka replied a few seconds later.

“Iruka, you made your point and I get it,” the Hokage said before Kakashi could continue to argue.

“Lord Hokage…”

“According to that, I have decided that it is best to wait for a special preliminary exam,” Hiruzen continued, ignoring Iruka.

A preliminary exam was the next best thing Iruka could’ve hope for, so he asked if he could personally take care of it. He would show everyone he was right, and make Kakashi eat his hurtful words. 

The silver haired was cold, mean even. But maybe he was right, they weren’t his students anymore. He could only nurture them so long until, as the Hokage said, they had to face the rigors and dangers of the ninja life. He wasn’t their sensei anymore, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about their future.

But, deep down, he knew he didn’t want his students to fail the preliminary exam. He hoped his three former students would prove him wrong, he hoped they were ready. He used a transformation jutsu so everybody saw an unknown ninja from Amegakure instead of the familiar sensei. Nothing would make him happier than the kids see through his illusion.

And happy Iruka was when Sasuke kicked his ass and told him to leave Konoha, although not at all surprised. Sakura was the one who surprised him when she let him know that she saw through the illusion from the start and the determination in her eyes was something Iruka would never forget, the potential those green eyes hid was enormous. And Naruto, as always, filled him with pride when he managed to save little Moegi, who Iruka had tied to a tree.

The Ino–Shika–Chō trio showed the strength of their jutsus, working as a real team who proved more experience than what they actually had. Asuma knew what he was doing, and of course Kurenai did too; her team saw through his deflection from the very start.

Iruka had been wrong, his students made not a big, but gigantic progress since they graduated from the Academy. He was impressed, and his chest swelled with pride as he landed himself on a roof, still with his disguise on. Kakashi was sitting on the edge of the roof, giving Iruka his back, looking at the shinning stars.

“And? How was it?” the silver haired asked without turning to see him.

“Everyone made it, your team and the others. The nine genin proved to be ready for the exams,” Iruka replied with the hoarse voice of the Amegakure ninja. With a puff, he returned to his normal body and continued talking with a low, softer tone. “You were right, Kakashi, they are skillful. Everyone has developed impressive skills.”

Kakashi hummed in agreement. “But the chūnin exams can break anyone. We’ll see if they can carry on.”

“I have faith they will,” Iruka replied. He changed his weight from one foot to another before deciding to seat next to Kakashi on the edge of the roof.

Their shoulders were slightly brushing and the small contact felt like a good memory. Iruka tried not to think about it and looked at his feet dangling off the edge while his hands rested on the roof. He didn’t say anything, and Kakashi didn’t either.

They stayed like that for a long while, time melting away and stopping to make sense. That used to happen often when they were together.  
The night got even darker, making the stars even brighter and the village more silent. Iruka’s mind was always on motion, thinking, worrying but in that moment, it was as quiet as the night. He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, just enjoying Kakashi’s company and the warmth that came from his body.

“I am sorry, Iruka. I think I never said that,” Kakashi broke the silence.

Iruka’s eyebrows furrowed a tiny bit. “For what? I am the one who should be sorry, Kakashi.”

“You were right, I had some shit I had to go through and I was hurting us both by not doing it,” Kakashi answered, his eyes still lost somewhere on the horizon.

“But I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve helped you, but I decided on being selfish instead,” Iruka said and looked at Kakashi only to find a weak smile showing up on his visible eye.

“Nah, you did everything right, I was the one who didn’t want to listen. You were right about the high ranked solo missions, about me not taking care of myself, about destroying myself a little on purpose… about the fucking chair,” Kakashi said and was interrupted by Iruka’s little snort.

“Ah, I missed the fucking chair for a long time, to be honest,” the brown haired smiled.

Kakashi smiled weakly, too. “It was a good chair.”

Silence stirred between them again for a few moments. 

“Did you?” Iruka asked, braking the comfortable silence. Kakashi looked at him, confused. “Go through the shit?” he clarified.

“When you left, it was my breaking point. I… thought a lot about everything you said and realized that it was true. I just wished I did that sooner,” the silver haired replied and swallowed. 

“I am really glad, Kakashi,” Iruka nodded.

“Konoha couldn’t lose Kakashi of the Sharingan because he is stubborn and doesn’t trust himself around a team, could it?” Kakashi smiled.

Iruka let out a laugh. “Shit, I was mean, wasn’t I?”

“Maa, only a little,” the jōnin laughed too. “Did you do it?” he asked when the laughter was over and that was Iruka’s turn to be confused about a question. “You said you’d never love someone as much as me… did you do it? Loved someone as much?”

There was no hesitation or deflection in Kakashi’s voice, so Iruka guessed there shouldn’t be any in his either. “No,” he answered quietly, looking up front. “I, um… It’s always been you,” he added after a few seconds.

“Yeah, we had something special,” Kakashi agreed, not looking at Iruka either.

“We still do,” Iruka replied quietly.

Kakashi didn’t say anything else, just took Iruka’s hand on his and moved closer so his arms and legs were fully touching.


End file.
